So You Want To Have a Sex Room

Who else has watched "How To Build a Sex Room" on Netflix?

I admire all the space many of the clients had. I'm also slightly jealous of the results that include a large soaking tub!

But what's a person to do if they don't have an extra room to spare for a dedicated sex room?

I think the key is to organize your bedroom (or other chosen room) to be aesthetically pleasing, with any necessities for lovemaking easy to find and access when the mood hits.

Something that struck me about one of the episodes was the amount of clutter on display when the designer entered the room. This couple spoke a lot about how transforming this room would save their marriage.

I could not help but want to scream at the screen that if they didn't have a habit in place to keep the clothes off the bed, they would end up where they started. As a professional organizer, I recognized that the practices they implemented to maintain their bedroom, not a redesign, would strengthen their relationship by eliminating the clutter that contributed to their stress.

So this leads to my first piece of advice. Clear your space to reduce visual clutter. Clothes on the floor and stuff piled on your dressers could trigger your mind to think of all the chores you haven't done yet. How can you be in the moment with your partner under that stress?

Establish a clothing routine to bring dirty clothes to a laundry basket regularly. Even if you incline to leave these on the floor, you can pair a routine you already practice with the habit of taking dirty clothes to an easily accessible laundry basket.

If clutter on surfaces proves challenging, notice what tends to gather on those surfaces. Common culprits can be jewelry, tags from new clothes, paperwork, and "clirty" clothes (items worn once or twice but not dirty enough to throw in the hamper). Take note of things gathering because of a lack of a designated home. You can even set a regular calendar reminder to put away items that gather on the tops of dressers and nightstands.

You can still choose to have items on top of your dressers and nightstands, but what you decide to keep out should be items that bring joy or relaxation. I like having some candles out, and my Kindle stays on my nightstand for evening reading. If you have an aesthetically pleasing toy, why not leave it on a pretty tray? After all, "How To Build a Sex Room" often showcased shelves with lovely goodies on display. The key is to be thoughtful about what is left out.

If you choose to organize your bedroom with lovemaking and connection in mind, you'll want to consider where you keep your toys and supplies. My most recommended area would be a nightstand drawer. You can use your dividers to separate sections for different necessities. Also, don't just consider toys, lubricants, and condoms, but also items for quick clean-up like washcloths or baby wipes.

You have several options if you have more supplies that will fit in a drawer. You can choose bins and boxes to store the majority if you prefer hidden reserves. Then keep a few handy in a drawer for you to switch out when the desire for variety hits. Open to more visual options? Try a pretty basket with your favorite lubricants or oils. You can add Command hooks to a blank wall to hang ropes or impact toys.

Be aware of other items in the bedroom that can discourage intimate situations. Televisions in the bedroom are not conducive to sex unless used exclusively for programming to get in the mood. In addition, regular television watching in bed tends to affect sleep hygiene adversely, so approach with caution. Photos are great to have up in the bedroom but be careful where that frame of your in-laws is facing. Do you really want that photo in your direct line of sight while doing the deed?

We don't all have the space or the budget to create the sexy paradises shown in Netflix's "How To Build a Sex Room." But thoughtful planning to create a serene space can help set the mood when inspiration strikes. Developing approaches that help you and your partner maintain a tidy bedroom will prevent stress and arguments that can be mood killers.